Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
