So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?