Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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(281): I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him http://tfl.nu/1o2o

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(312): View more from Illinois

dude, your ex-bf is on match.com

(847): View more from Illinois

details on that.

(312): View more from Illinois

well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.

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(312): dude, your ex-bf is on match.com (847): details on that. (312): well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes. http://tfl.nu/50kk

Replies (6) Good night (1961) Bad night (801)
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(630): View more from Illinois

he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.

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(630): he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/2ce1

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.

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(617): Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem. http://tfl.nu/80or

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(514): View more from Quebec

i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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(514): i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving http://tfl.nu/yrvc

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.

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(970): Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them. http://tfl.nu/rk1i

Replies (9) Good night (1473) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm at about main and main street

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(630): I'm at about main and main street http://tfl.nu/my9q

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(703): View more from Virginia

it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp

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(703): it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp http://tfl.nu/dn3p

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(802): View more from Vermont

Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence

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(802): Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence http://tfl.nu/e5a5

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(971): View more from Oregon

Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.

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(971): Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love. http://tfl.nu/5pup

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(434): View more from Virginia

He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.

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(434): He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/bcau

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(301): View more from Maryland

He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.

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(301): He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession. http://tfl.nu/9fz9

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.

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(504): You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men. http://tfl.nu/6nuf

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(703): View more from Virginia

The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo

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(703): The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo http://tfl.nu/r2ud

Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (236)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.

(501): View more from Arkansas

Just skip

(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. i have SOME standards

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(479): Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day. (501): Just skip (479): Please. i have SOME standards http://tfl.nu/0muv

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