it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
