and then he started using my ass as a stressball
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
