you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
