it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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