Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
