so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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