So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
