I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
