Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
