sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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