yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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