what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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