Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
