he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
