the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize