after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
