a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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