If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sponge bath it is.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
