In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
