Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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