I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
