I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
