I accidentally burped into my bong.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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