Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
