I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
