Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
