Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
