their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
