i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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