i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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