i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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