I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
