i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
