Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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