physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
my liver is dry heaving
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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