id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
