dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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