You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
