Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Everclear isn't food dammit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
