I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
