I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
