she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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