just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
