1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
