The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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