Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
