So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
