apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
4 words: hood of his car
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize