If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize