Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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