Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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