Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
