So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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