hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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