I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
