Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
