We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Randomize
