Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just blew my weed a kiss
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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